Bathtime Fun?
by The Phantom Scribbler
Summary: JPxSS slash. Don't read if the thought horrificly offends you. Yes the title is corny, I can't think of anything better. This is my first attempt, so if it goes horrendously wrong, don't blame me! DH Chapter 33. Rated for content. Now complete!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Severus and James: The perfect couple? Well, we'll find out won't we. Just the first chapter for now, please R&R or I won't write any more. And then I'll be sad.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or any associated characters.

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"Snivellus," said James curtly, "What are you doing here?"

The pair were stood outside the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"I could ask you the same question" replied Severus "Surely it's way past your bedtime. Surely you can't afford to get into any more trouble."

"See this?" said James "This is an invisibility cloak. It means I can roam the corridors undetected. But I wouldn't count on it if I were you- they'll smell YOU a mile off, cloak or no cloak. Anyway, I had special permission- I needed a bath. Don't suppose that YOU'VE ever had one of those!"

Severus thought a moment before replying. Quickly, before he lost his courage he said, "Well, no, I haven't. Wiluuteemehow?"

"You what?"

"Will you teach me how?" Said Severus, more slowly.

James sighed. Behind the portrait hole, there was the sound of footsteps. "Cloak James!" exclaimed Severus urgently. James pulled his cloak over his head just as Mary emerged from the portrait hole.

"Lily says go away and leave her in peace." announced Mary in a monotone.

"Tell her that if she won't come out, I'll, I'll sleep here" threatened Severus.

From beneath his cloak, James watched as Severus and Lily argued. His heart was tearing. Half of him wanted to root for Lily, but the other half was longing Severus to win. At last it was over, and Lily storming back to the common room. James watched the swing of her hair as she half walked, half ran. He wanted to follow her, to tell her that HE would love her, even if that bastard Snivellus wouldn't. But he stayed. After all, Severus had just asked him a question. He threw off his cloak, and looked into his ex-worst-enemy's eyes.

"I know the password to the prefects bathroom," he said, "Let's go!"

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A/N: Please R&R, it's my first attempt, and I'm pretty pleased. I have vague ideas for the next chapter, but I refuse to write it until you review. Muahhaha!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: This chapter is, again, a little slow, but I promise it will pick up soon. Naked Sev alert.

Disclaimer: Is my name JK? I wish. (Therefore, I don't own Harry Potter. Sob.)

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"Lemon-scented" said James, and the door swung open. Severus and James walked in, Severus' eyes wide with wonder.

"It's huge" he exclaimed, "Just look at all those taps!"

"Here, look, Sniv," James turned a tap with a ruby set into it, and out gushed a fountain of red bubble bath, emitting heart shaped bubbles. "This is one of my favourites" he said slyly.

"Can I try" asked Severus, his eyes on an ornate gold tap, encrusted with amethyst. Before James could answer, he was already beginning to turn it. A heavily scented blue bubble bath spilled into the red water, turning it a delicate shade of purple.

"I just love that smell!" exclaimed James. They played with the taps for a while, until the bath was full. It shimmered with every colour of the rainbow, and smelled heavenly.

"Do I just get in like this?" enquired Severus, indicating his poorly fitting robes.

"No, silly, you need to get undressed first." Out of politeness, James looked away as Severus stripped to his socks and Y-Fronts.

"Umm…" said James "those too" this time, he couldn't bring himself to look away as Severus first removed his socks, then his underpants. The pair looked at each other in discomfort, until, after an age, James finally broke the silence.

"Are you going to get in or not?" he said, making Severus jump.

"Yes, yes" said Severus hastily, whilst scrambling into the pool. "Are you going to join me?"

"Yeah, just a minute." James stripped quicker, and with more efficiency than Severus. Slightly bashful, he grabbed a towel, and wrapped it around his waist. He climbed up onto the diving board. James stood there a short while, a pensive look on his face. He sighed and threw his towel into the corner.

"Well here goes," he muttered under his breath, and dived into the shimmering water with a splash.

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A/N: I have a rough draft of the next chapter. You know what you have to do if you want to see it. Hehe.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Starting to pick up now. Thanks to everyone who has commented so far, and sorry if I still don't make any sense (I don't think I ever did…)

Disclaimer: Still not JK.

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James had intentionally positioned himself as far away from Severus as he could get, out of sheer embarrassment, but Sev had slowly been making his way towards where James was sat.

Cautiously he spoke. "You know… I wish I could dive like that."

James said nothing for a couple of moments, and then "Thanks"

"You have a thing for Lily Evans, don't you?" asked Severus, desperately trying to break the silence."

"Well, I suppose so," answered James. "You too, by the looks of things."

"I really screwed that one up, didn't I?" said Severus, miserably

"Fraid so mate"

"It was a rhetorical question!" exclaimed Severus

"Oooh don't we know some big words," teased James, splashing Severus.

"I'll get you Potter!" laughed Severus, splashing him back.

More relaxed now, James stepped into his role as 'teacher', and dispensed some shampoo onto his hand, and rubbed it into Severus' hair. "Leave that on a couple of minutes- give it chance to work!" he called over his shoulder, as he began to swim the length of the pool. Severus watched longingly, wondering if James would teach him to swim. He watched James' bum cheeks moving rhythmically as he swam. Left, right, left, right. James reached the other side of the pool and flipped onto his back. Severus found himself focusing on something even less innocent than James' bum, and it got closer and closer to him.

"OK, you can rinse that off now," said James, either not noticing or simply ignoring Severus' expression.

Severus did as he was told, and found himself realising that James was the dominant figure in their relationship. If, in fact, you could describe one shared bath as a relationship. This thought had barely sunk in when James started to rub soap into his chest.

"Oh, that's nice," moaned Severus involuntarily. There was a brief pause in which James stopped rubbing. "Did I actually say that," said Severus, embarrassed.

"Yes you did." Severus opened his mouth to speak, but James silenced him by raising his hand. "It's meant to be nice," he said softly, taking Severus in his arms and kissing him.

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A/N: Sorry to leave them hanging. Will put up next chapter tomorrow at school, but I wanted to leave this cliff-hanger for you. _I _know what happens next, I've already written it. Next chapter will be a lot longer, I promise. As always, R&R.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: As promised, here is Chapter 4. Enjoy! (Sex warning.)

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters or places featured in this story. All I own is my warped imagination.

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They were kissing, in a way Severus had only ever dreamed about. It seemed natural to both of them to go further, but when James tried, Severus pulled away.

"I can't," he blushed "I just… I just can't." Nearly crying, he went on "It feels so right James, but at the same time it feels so wrong." He held back a sob. "What will they say if they find out? You know. Mulce, Ave, Black, Pettigrew and the werewolf. Not to mention Lily. I couldn't bear it!"

James wiped away the tears from Severus' cheek. "They don't need to find out Sniv. And anyway, Lily hates you, I thought she made that obvious. You were enjoying it Sniv, we both were," he explained gently. Then, as an afterthought, "If you ever call Remus 'the werewolf' again, I'll brain you."

This was exactly the response Severus had been hoping for. For James to be understanding, yet at the same time, still an arrogant git. Severus respected James' quickness to defend his friends. "After all," he thought, "I wouldn't threaten to brain James if he called Mulce and Ave 'Brain-Dead and Gormless, because it's true."

He took James by surprise by suddenly jumping on him a kissing him again. He let his hands wander, to explore places on James' body he'd only ever fantasised about before.

"Oh Snivellus!" moaned James, ruining the moment for Severus, who broke away once again, and glared at James.

"Why do you INSIST on calling me that, Potter?" He demanded. "You know full well I loathe it."

"To be honest with you," smiled James, "That's exactly why I call you it! But, seriously" he added hastily, "I just forgot in the heat of the moment."

Oh, that grin! It reminded Severus of why he had initially plucked up the courage to ask James to come with him to the bathroom. But Severus was still angry. WHY did James have to be so mean? WHY did he have to keep on ruining it for him? WHY, oh why, was his grin so seductive and sweet, and why did his scruffy hair make his body ache with longing?

Severus was desperate to talk to James about the feelings he was experiencing, to see if James yearned for him in the same way he yearned for James, but James was already out of the bath and reaching for a towel. Severus felt like weeping, but instead he followed James.

"Dry me," whispered James huskily.

"I'm sorry?"

"Dry me," repeated James, this time a little louder.

Severus did as he was told. Slowly and carefully, he rubbed every inch of James' body, until there was no water remaining. James returned the favour. He reached over Severus' shoulders from behind to rub his chest, and Severus could feel James' erection pressing hard against his back.

This time, he didn't pull away, and then James was inside him, and it was like nothing he had ever experienced before. It was over all too soon, and the pair dressed hastily in silence. Both seemed acutely embarrassed about what had just happened.

"Lessons continue Wednesday" announced James, breaking the silence, "Meet you here 10 o'clock?"

Severus opened his mouth to reply, but James had already gone.

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A/N: As I promised, it is my longest chapter yet. R&R, more when I have it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I only own the clothes I stand up in, and the computer I type up my twisted stories on.

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Severus brushed his sleek, glossy hair with pride. "I look good!" he thought to himself. Looking over to where Mulciber and Avery slept, he saw that, as per usual they were asleep, and, because it was a weekend, Severus knew they wouldn't be awake until lunchtime. Gladly, he made his way to the Great Hall. Although he thought of them as friends, Mulce and Ave weren't the best breakfast companions. They always gobbled and grabbed, and they never chewed with their mouths closed.

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The hall was practically empty, but, much to Severus' relief, James was sat at the Gryffindor table, alone. Nearby was Lily, and Severus' heart dropped. However, realising the opportunity to kill two birds with one stone, and make up with Lily before talking to James, Severus sidled over.

"Hi Lily," said Severus as calmly as he could muster. This was harder than Severus had anticipated, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me."

"My position hasn't changed since last night, _Snivellus_," said Lily, coldly, "You know, Snivellus really suits you. You really are a snot-bag aren't you!"

At this point, James butted into the conversation. "Washing your hair won't make her go out with you Sniv- although I bet she's surprised you found the shampoo! Personally, I'm amazed you could identify it through all the grease!"

"Did I ask you Potter?" snapped Lily, "I was under the impression that Severus and I were having a private conversation!"

"OK, OK, keep your wig on!" said James, loud enough that Severus could here, but not so loud that Lily heard. Severus grinned, stifling a laugh.

"What's so funny?" demanded Lily. Her voice rising to a scream she continued. "You're so immature! Both of you! Just GROW UP!!" On this note, she pushed away her half-eaten bacon and eggs away and stormed out of the hall. Undeterred, Severus turned to James.

"Hey," he whispered.

"Go away Snivellus!" came the unnecessarily loud reply. "You've upset Evans, what more do you want? Just leave!" Severus rose hastily, tears stinging his eyes as he rushed out of the room.

"Sorry Sev" whispered James, but it was too late. Severus had already gone.

Sirius slid in next to his best friend. "Good morning Prongs!" he said cheerily.

"You're up early! Where's Wormtail and Moony?"

"Still asleep." came Sirius muffled reply, through a mouthful of scrambled egg.

"I've finished, see you later," said James, pushing his plate away and following Severus almost at a run, but not as much to make Sirius, who was watching James in a bemused manner, suspicious. James had left two sausages and a big pile of beans on his plate- this was NOT finished in Sirius' book.

"Ah well," he thought, helping himself.

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The entrance hall was deserted apart from Severus and James. James aimed his wand at Severus' back. "Levicorpus," he muttered, before Severus could escape to the dungeon.

"What was that for?" fumed Severus. James stifled a laugh. He looked very comical suspended in the air, hands on hips.

"You... Need... To... Calm... Down..."

"Don't tell me to calm down! I'll calm down when I feel ready to calm down, not when YOU tell me to, Potter!"

"But Severus..."

"YOU told ME to bugger off, and that's what I was doing until you stopped me. Let me DOWN!"

"Did you not _see_ Sirius?" hissed James

Severus started to retaliate, but suddenly calmed. He realized he was in the wrong, and felt guilty for it. As he was about to apologise, however, a voice echoed across the hall.

"Hey! Prongs! What have I told you about terrorising Snivellus. Much as I'm sure he deserved it, it's my responsibility to make sure you follow the rules. And one of them is being respectful of other students, whether you like it or not. Much as I know you wish you were, you aren't exempt from the rules!"

"But Moony!" whined James.

"No buts Prongs. Let him down," said Remus, "No pun intended," he added slyly, making James smile weakly. He muttered the counter curse, and Severus fell to the floor in a heap. Hastily getting up and brushing himself off, Severus pretended to draw his wand.

"Scoot!" commanded Remus authoritatively, before Severus could do anything. As he left, Severus stole a quick glance at James. He made out the single word on James' lips

"Tonight."

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**A/N:** Sorry it's taken me so long to update this. I no it's no excuse, but I lost my rough notes, and only found them again today. So, again, sorry. Thanks to everyone who took the time to review, as always, it was much appreciated. I promise I will update this as soon as possible, I have half of the next chapter already, so hopefully it will only be a couple of weeks before you have your next installment. Oh, and if you have the time, please review. I love reviews !


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Here, finally, is the final instalment of Bathtime Fun! Yay! I know I haven't updated since April, but I've been busy doing… Well, nothing much really. –Ahem-. Anyway, here it is! Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: Need I bother with disclaimers, six chapters in –ponders-. Anyway, for the last time (in this story, anyway), I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANY RELATED CHARACTERS. Just a twisted mind.

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Severus entered the bathroom, alone. Unsure of what to do until James arrived, he began to run a bath. It didn't hold as much enjoyment as the first time; Severus felt the absence of James, and missed his companionship. Even when the tub was full, Severus couldn't bring himself to climb in without James. Instead, he sat on the floor and waited.

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It seemed like an age before James showed up, but in reality less than 5 minutes had passed since Severus had sat down to wait. Severus greeted James with a soft, tender kiss, which James reciprocated, but without passion. Both broke away, embarrassed, after a few short moments. Wordlessly, the pair undressed, and Severus climbed into the bath, silently beckoning James to follow.

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In the hour or so that followed, James seemed preoccupied, and paid Severus noticeably less attention than the previous time. "What's the matter, James?" asked a confused Severus, as nicely as he could. James didn't answer immediately, just swam behind Sev, put his arms around Sev's neck, and kissed his cheek softly.

"I'm sorry Sev," he whispered in Severus' ear. "I just can't do this any more. It's just not fair. You're vulnerable right now; you need a friend not a lover. You still love Lily; I'm just your rebound guy. And however much I want you, I have to accept we're not right together. I'm sorry."

A solitary tear ran down James' cheek as he kissed Sev for one last time, fiery passion burning strong. Without a word, James climbed out of the bath, redressed and left, leaving Severus frozen, looking at the spot where James had been just moments ago. As soon as the door shut behind James, Severus burst into tears, loud, gulping sobs that reverberated around the bathroom, eternal echoes of Severus' pain. Severus departed as quickly as he could; he couldn't bear to be in the place in which he and James had been so intimate for one second longer than necessary.

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It wasn't Severus' last bath, but he took rarely thereafter. Occasionally, he would wander the corridor where the prefects' bathroom was situated, a half smile playing on his lips as he walked past the door to the room with so many memories. As for Severus and James' relationship, it went back to before. Except sometimes, just sometimes one or the other of them would find themselves staring at the other, a woeful smile on their face, remembering what had gone before, and wondering what could have been between the two, had only the relationship continued.

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**A/N:** The end. I know it's not great, but it's done now! So I can work on something new  Please R&R, I'll send you a cookie 


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